‘You sure no one here’s a secret leftie, though?’ Huck- nall will ask. ‘I’ve done my research,’ Big Mike will say.
‘Rob’s dad is left-footed, but he’s definitely right-handed. When Peacock - with perfect stubble and coiffed hair - goes to the airport bar, everyone will laugh at his shoes that seem to be made of straw. ‘Doesn’t he look benter than a horseshoe?’ ‘Couldn’t believe it when I met him at Paddington,’ Hucknall will say. Gareth will shout to Peacock: ‘Mate, why don’t you do yourself a favour and just come out?’ ‘I’ve seen straighter semicircles,’ Rob will say. Peacock will stand there, between table and bar, and kiss his own biceps. He’ll accept the jibes, and say none of the boys has any idea about style.
He’ll take the piss out of Caerphilly’s clothes shops, and say David Beckham wore a pair of shoes just like these to the Iron Man 3 premiere. And that will be it: Peacock will be called Iron Man Three for the rest of the trip. When they board the plane, Larry will tell the air stewardess that Peacock’s ticket isn’t valid, that his name is Iron Man Three.
